Should You Always End on a Good Note? Ep 213

Episode 213. Should you always end on a good note. Ooh, I think we've all heard this one before, and the answer is, it depends. So we're gonna dig deeper into that. This week, you're listening to the Creating Great Grooming Dog Show. I'm Chrissy Neumyer Smith. I'm a Master groomer behavior specialist, a master canine stylist, a certified professional groomer, a certified behavior consultant for canines certified professional dog trainer, a bunch of other stuff.

And I'm the dean of academics and an educator at the whole pet Grooming Academy. This, my friends and colleagues, is the show where we talk about teaching pets to be good for grooming.

So do we always need to end on a good note? Ooh, that's tricky. And this one actually came up in Flyball practice this weekend because there's a point where you're trying to do repetitions of something small. And maybe it's just going over jumps.

Maybe it's a box turn, but we do this in grooming too. If we have a bunch of repetitions, think about nail trimming as a bunch of repetitions. Each individual nail could be a repetition. And if we're not getting it right, we could be accidentally, quite accidentally teaching it wrong. Yeah, we could be adding repetitions of what we don't want.

So let me give you an example in here. If I handed you a flute, I play flute, maybe you play some other instrument, but, you know, let's, let's just say I hand you something and you practice the wrong combination of notes over and over and over again, and you're getting really frustrated and we're just gonna make you keep drilling until you get it right.

What happens is, is that the learner , in animal training, we're often talking about our learner. Our learner is getting really frustrated. Our learner is not enjoying this process. They're messing up, they're learning everything the wrong way, and then the person who's teaching, you know, the teacher in this combination is also likely to be getting frustrated.

It doesn't serve its purpose. Now, when we started talking about things like ending on a good note. There's some truth to that and it can be really good process to use. Let's say that you're working within the scope of this dog is really comfortable. We'll use the nail trim example again. This dog is really comfortable.

We trimmed one nail and we stopped. Good boy. That's ending on a good note and then we do it with the next nail and end on a good note and do it with the next nail and end on a good note. And end doesn't mean that's the moment we send them home end could be we stop here with nail trimming and go back to some brushing, go back to something the dog is comfortable with, and circle back into another nail repetition, and then circle back to something he's comfortable with and circle back, and circle back and back and forth and back and forth.

Now as groomers, we're often taught to have a system and to stick with it, and that is really efficient. That's really good practice for becoming a fast and efficient groomer who doesn't forget things like a toenail. But when we have a pet that has behavior issues, who is concerned about something we're doing, is worried about it, is afraid or simply doesn't know, we need to backtrack and say, I need to prioritize teaching this pet right now.

This isn't about me being fast and efficient. This is about this pet having a pleasant experience, learning that this isn't scary. We have the opportunity in dog grooming most of the time to have that animal in front of us for a long time. We can go back and circle back and do multiple repetitions and end while the pet is comfortable.

So ending on a good note could be that this pet is comfortable. Ooh. See, now that's not something we usually think about. Usually we're like, okay, and then we finish that last one. But what if most of that nail trimming was terribly unpleasant? And then we're waiting. That last one has to be, it has to be good.

He has to enjoy this last one. We're we're, we're gonna keep going until we have a good note. But so often that's what I see. I see so many animals who are being pushed to the point of unpleasantness and they're learning all the wrong things, and yet the groomer is trying to make sure that they end on a happy note, but that's not gonna wash away all of the unpleasantness that happened before it.

The purpose of ending on a good note is that it can really bring some confidence. A pet maybe like, or our learner could be a human right? Like, Hey, look at you doing a great job. Let's pause there for a minute. Yeah, let's take a break. Think about what you did. Try it again. Think about what you did. Try it again.

, the musical instrument example again. After you learn how to make notes. And you learn how to put them together. And every once in a while, there's just a tricky patch of the song, and you just practice that one measure over and over and over again. That one little combination of like six notes, just keep practicing and practicing and practicing, but you only practice it when you're getting it right.

You don't wanna continue practicing getting it wrong. When you're getting it wrong, that's when you slow down. And you maybe do two notes at a time, two notes at a time, and then three notes, and then four, and then five, and then six. And you don't necessarily wanna keep doing the entire song. Oh, I always mess up on measure 14, but I'm gonna do the whole song.

Uh, messed up a , measure 14. Again, that's not how we learn. It's not how we learn, and it's not how our pets are gonna learn it. So we want to think about that ending on a good note. Could be those little tiny bits, tiny, tiny, tiny. And if you're not able to create a good note, , if you're not able to create that moment where that pet feels confident , when that pet feels good, when that pet feels successful, if you're not able to create that, then all of your repetitions are very, very unpleasant.

So let's come up with some examples of really, really unpleasant repetitions if you just keep doing something wrong. So if I just kept asking you to solve the same math question and you literally had no idea how to solve it, and I just sat there going like, we are not leaving here until you get that right, but you don't know how to get it right, how frustrated are you going to be?

To just keep continuing, trying to get , that question correct. When you don't know how to solve the problem, you'd be really frustrated. The teacher would be frustrated, the learner would be frustrated, and even if you magically came up with the solution, I mean, if it's a multiplication problem, you're probably gonna be like, I don't know.

Do I count on my fingers? Even if you actually come up with a solution, did you really learn anything? Yeah, you learned that that was really frustrating. Sometimes we don't see these dogs often enough to cause the same kind of change that we could if we saw them all the time. Sometimes the thing that they're going to remember from appointment to appointment is how we made them feel.

Hmm, interesting. If I handed you something to try today and then we did it again in eight weeks, you're probably not gonna remember how to do that, but you'd remember how you felt about it, I don't do this every day. And it's hard because you don't do it every day. Repetitions are a chance for us to make sure that we are always on a good note and to assess if that's too difficult and lower our criteria.

That's an important part. Assess if it's too difficult, lower the criteria to the point where it is achievable, and we can build confidence by making it easy. Lots of easy repetitions are good, lots of hard repetitions with a lot of mistakes. That's, that's getting dicey. You know, we don't necessarily want a lot of mistakes.

That's not the fast track to learning how to do something Right. And we're gonna talk more about that in the next part.

So, I'm gonna use a human example here. I had a teacher in college, worst teacher I've ever had in my entire life. And, uh, I was really good in math. Like I, I don't remember much of that type of math now, but I think it was quantitative method or statistics. One of those, I don't know, one of the higher maths, I was really good at math, but he would go up to the board and say, all right, let me show you how to do this.

And then he would say. Now let me show you again. And one of those two was gonna be wrong. He's introducing a new idea to us. One of the two examples he just gave us was gonna be wrong, worst teacher I've ever had in my entire life, then he would say like, okay, but that one is wrong.

This is the right way to do it. And it was the only time I ever got a C in math. And I do remember a bunch of us went to the dean. We were really upset about it. Like, this is not the way you teach how to do something, because half of our repetitions from the very beginning were incorrect., I want you to bring that into dog grooming now.

So if we want this dog to learn, I'm supposed to be still and relaxed while someone brushes my ear, then we want this dog to be in a position where they can be still. And be relaxed while we brush their ear. But how often do we have a dog who is wiggling and struggling and we're brushing the ear anyway, expecting them to learn that they're supposed to be calm and still.

We don't want them to learn how to be brushed while they're wiggling.

We need to think, alright, how do I make this easier? How do I make this lesson look closer to perfection? What does the target look like? What does our goal look like? Our goal is a dog who is calm, comfortable, and cooperative while we brush the ear. Not a dog who is wiggling and flailing and we're holding the ear in a vice grip and we're continuing to brush until they give up.

And that's often what I'm seeing , and people saying, well, he's gotta learn how to do this, and when he's calm, then I'll let go. We'll end on a good note, but what if the dog doesn't calm down? What are you actually teaching him in that moment? In that moment, that dog is learning that this is really scary, this is really uncomfortable.

This is really unpleasant, and that's not our goal. Our goal is to teach 'em. It's pleasant. And if you've been listening to the show for a while, I think you're like-minded and you're like, oh God, I don't hold dogs while they try to actively move away from me. 'cause we've talked about it a lot, but I think that there's always somebody new coming into the show.

And maybe it's the first time you've heard this. Oh yeah. If we want this dog to be comfortable with it, then we need to make sure that we're always in that comfort zone. And that's why it's. Cooperative, not calm, comfortable, and obedient. Cooperative implies that we both have a role to play. My job is to see when the dog is overwhelmed or uncomfortable or finds it unpleasant and to adjust what I'm doing and try to bring them back to being comfortable.

And that's my job. And the dog's job is to maybe try to learn what I'm trying to teach them and allow us to do the kind of weird stuff and things that dog groomers are gonna wanna do. Or owners or anybody else. , so if we think about things like brushing an ear, what if, especially in a situation where we have this dog for a while, what if we start off with, can I just have you be calm and relaxed while I hold your ear, and then end there for a moment and move on to something else?

That could be your good note. That could be your end on a good note. Hey, look at you. You'll let me hold your ear. Next repetition. Move on to something else. Next repetition could be, hold onto that ear two brush strokes. Dog was good. And you're like, well, good job. End on a good note. Ending on a good note when it's actually a good note and hasn't hit the point of failure means that we can build.

Maybe not build every time, but have an awareness of, I want this to always look about as interesting as watching paint dry if you're doing it right, it is so boring. Oh, so beautifully boring. The dog doesn't do big responses. They're relaxed the whole time. It's beautiful, but it doesn't make for very dramatic video.

So if we think about, if I can hold this dog and keep them at that point where , we're in their comfort zone and just pushing the boundaries a little bit, just nudging them out a little bit, and lots of repetitions of smaller things. Smaller things, then we can end on a good note and we can do it over and over and over again in one grooming session.

What I often see is at the end of a grooming session, someone trying to end on a good note, but maybe that whole grooming session was unpleasant. Or maybe just a while, maybe there was a. Good. 10 minutes of unpleasant, which I know sometimes people think, well, what's the big deal? The big deal is, is that 10 minutes of unpleasant might be a dog who gives you a lot more unpleasantness in the future.

They don't wanna be there. They don't trust you, they don't like it. They're not learning how to be good. They're actually learning that it's unpleasant. So what if we spend time teaching them that it's pleasant? Ooh, how cool is that? And then through lots of repetitions, since we have them for a full grooming session, or even if it's just a nail trim and you have that dog for 10 minutes, what if you treated every nail touch as a repetition?

What if you treated picking up the feet as a repetition? What if you treated all of that as, can I keep you as calm as possible? So imagine. You have just made a bet with somebody I'm betting you a really expensive dinner that I can keep this dog calm the whole time. That's the sweet spot.

That's what we're looking for. Imagine that you have just placed a bet with somebody, maybe it's if I lose this bet that I have to do something, I think is really unpleasant, but I'm so sure that I can keep this dog at the point that they're calm while I continue to do stuff and not push 'em , then I can do lots of repetitions.

I can do lots of repetitions and I'm much more aware of like, oh, are you looking a little stressed? If it is, it's time to relax. It's time to pause. It's time to rethink what we're doing and to bring an awareness too. I want this to look boring. I want this dog to be successful, as successful as possible. So ending on a good note can be a really great strategy if we are also making sure that the entire process is as pleasant as possible, that we're not pushing them to the point that they can't do it, and accidentally creating a lot of repetitions of the exact thing we don't want.

Just like my math teacher. All those years ago was having us do all sorts of repetitions of doing it the wrong way, which was so frustrating, so frustrating. So a lot of us learned it the wrong way because he literally spent time teaching us the wrong way. , we don't wanna do that to our learner. We wanna set them up to get it right and that's when those repetitions end on a good note can be really helpful.

So I know we hear it a lot. End on a good note and there's no always or never, it's not like a do it or don't do it, but it is have an awareness of is this pet still finding it pleasant? Am I actually teaching this dog that? This is pleasant? Because dogs who think that grooming is pleasant are set up for a lifetime of grooming.

A lifetime. It's not about getting it done today. It's about this dog's entire life, and maybe you meet them at 10, but maybe they've got another eight years. We've all seen 18-year-old dogs. What if they have another eight years? What if it's like the last couple years of their life? But we still are able to teach them to be calm with us for those last couple years of their life.

This is an investment into future groomings, and we want them to be calm, comfortable, and cooperative.